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Dinner Squadron

Aug. 5th, 2011 11:02 pm

I'M GOING TO NEPAL IN OCTOBER.

I need to talk more about this, because it is CLEARLY AWESOME.

BUT GUYS! I'M GOING TO NEPAL! IN OCTOBER! BY MYSELF!

Yeah, I'm a little excited. Except the "by myself" part. That's kind of scary.

But right now, I'm drunk and need to sleep. Mmm, KGB Imperial Russian Stout. Thank you, Alley Cat Brewery.

(Yup, get drunk, book $3000 tour to someplace $2500-of-airfare-away. Great choice or awesome choice, you decide!)

mood: drunkdrunk

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Jul. 10th, 2011 12:45 am

I'm in Victoria right now, and I'm far too busy having fun to write on LJ.

It's a pleasant change from being too run down with life's nasty sameness to write on LJ!

I really want to stay in Victoria.

1. Cheap rent!
Seriously, Victoria, stop whining about your rent. It is way cheaper to live walking-distance to downtown here than it is in Edmonton, and you get to do it for cheaper in safer neighbourhoods.

2. Less tax!
Sure, there's the HST [sales tax]. But I'd need a 225% raise before paying the same percentage of income tax that I do in Alberta. BC's almost-invisible income tax surely has to outweigh the increased sales tax.

3. Great bus service!
Again, Victoria, stop whining. The buses run more frequently, with a higher percentage of area covered, and for less money than any other city I've been to. Also, there are buses to RURAL AREAS. And not an "extra charge, runs twice a day, Mon-Fri only" bus: like once every two hours (or more!) 5+ days.

Also: it's cheap! Bears repeating.

4. The outside!
Guys, you can take buses to PROVINCIAL PARKS. Public buses! And then you can hike for seven hours, skipping the big trails because the park is so big, and then you can take the bus home. Nature is, like, RIGHT THERE!

5. PRIDE
Victoria has gay people being visibly gay in public without visible fear. Businesses can support Pride without having to make gay people their main target audience, because you can be comfortable with gay people without having to be a specifically gay-themed business. I danced with a girl at a public concert that wasn't part of Pride and didn't have to worry.

6. Utilities
Again with the cheap! My pals here who pay utilities pay less per kilowatt hour, plus they get to use less energy over all.

7. Minimum wage
Minimum wage here is high and getting higher. All you have to do is find an apartment (and vacancies here seem very comparable to what I'm used to seeing everywhere else) and with how cheap things are out here, you could absolutely afford to live off minimum wage!


Reasons I am not living in Victoria
No one here will call me for an interview, because I don't already live here. But if I move here without a job, no one's going to rent to me.

I need MAGIC.

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May. 1st, 2011 11:24 am

It is summer in Edmonton!

For defintions of "summer" that include "it snowed three days ago, and it's up to PLUS TEN now."

But all the important trappings of summer are here: bubbles and hula hoops and sidewalk chalk and barbeques, and a distinct lack of post-secondary students crowding the buses.

The real important things, though, are bubbles and sidewalk chalk. That is my plan for today. I'm going to download some knitting podcasts and plop myself down on the front walk, and there will be chalk.

And life will be good.

If you're playing with sidewalk chalk, how could life not be good?

[Provided one refuses to think about tomorrow's federal election. Oi.]

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Apr. 10th, 2011 08:24 pm

So my brain! It is doing better. I know the internet has a serious hate-on for SSRIs, but my brain and Celexa are getting on quite well. I'd even still be losing weight, if it weren't for the sudden influx of potato chips and really great documentaries to watching while I'm chowing down.

I've got a gazillion bad habits and thought patterns to break, but I absolutely can start working on that now, instead of just staring at crap reality TV all evening and grumping at work all day.

Like yesterday. I was down in the dumps in the morning. I felt like POO. So I taught myself to crochet. Why? Because moping wasn't productive, and when I evaluated my mood (instead of freaking out that I wasn't productive), I didn't think I could address the Resume Problem.*

So I learned to crochet, which has been on my Must Learn list for ages. This time, I finally stuck to it until I got it. While I worked on it, on having a goal and solving a problem, I wasn't listening to all the negative voices in my head. And eventually I told them to shut it, because hey! I'm learning something awesome and creative and skillful and intricate. And that makes me a bit more awesome and creative and skilled and intricate, even if I'm not making great things -- yet.

And then I had six inches of crochet shawl.

Next up is learning to follow a crochet pattern, so that my next project isn't quite so whack-a-do in design and angles. For now, I'm just reminding myself how all my favourite high-fashion stuff is whack-a-do in nature! Maybe my current shawl just really wants to be a Mondo Guerra creation.**


* My doctor and I agree that Job Suckitude is a major problem that needs to be solved, but when one is a desperate, hopeless, negative, miserable mess, it is not the best time to be putting together a positive snappy resume and rocking interviews.

** In addition to documentaries, I'm really into Project Runway right now, which doesn't count as "crap reality TV" because hello! Mondo! Polka dots! Colours! COLOURS!

mood: goodgood

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Mar. 1st, 2011 08:24 pm

This week has been awesome and awful. I haven't really let myself go backwards physically -- much. But this year is also about getting my head in order, and it's been a damn rough week on that front. It's a bad time at work for me, and I'm terrified for my doctor's appointment on Thursday.

I haven't had a doctor who was MY doctor since I left my pediatrician at 16. I've let a lot of things slide that I probably shouldn't have, because they just didn't seem like Medicentre type things. (This is easier to justify when you've been scared of doctors as long as you remember!) Thursday is my evaluation appointment with a family doctor, who may or may not take me on. And it's really nerve-wracking! What if he sucks? What if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm a flake for not having a doctor for 10 years? What if I'm really sick and just didn't know it?

I came home from work today, and instead of having a beer (which I really, really, really wanted -- oh Trois Pistoles!) I got on the elliptical. I "ran" an eight-minute mile, and then because the music was good and because I could, I kept going for 50 more minutes.

Then my iPod magically switched playlists without my input and started a song about vindaloo, so I decided it was time for supper. I think I feel a lot better than I would have if I'd just gone for the beer.

So I'll take that as a score one for the getting mentally healthy task!

I still really want a Trois Pistole and some vindaloo, though.

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Feb. 21st, 2011 10:29 pm

This morning, I was feeling ranty that women aren't encouraged to work out with weights. Resistance training? Sure, you'll carry things better, have better balance, build bone mass you are really going to need. But you might end up looking like a strong person, and we can't have that for a woman!

I was letting it percolate all day, especially while I was watching Village on a Diet (CBC, I love you) and doing my arm workouts (72 push-ups, I love you more!)

Then I was running on the elliptical and Hawaii 5-0 came on (TV in front of the home elliptical, I love you). I got distracted.

Suddenly, my daily running total (at level 10! I love you) was up to 15k.

Fifteen kilometres.

For some perspective, the most I have ever run before in a single day was 5.5 km, and I did it in two stints, over 2 hours.

Tonight, I randomly upped that by 10k. In three stints, over 2 hours. (I love that I managed this. BUT DON'T DO THIS. It is a terrible idea. Plan out how you will get to where the shower is before attempting this. You will need one badly.)

I'd write my rant about weights, because it's still percolating. But I'm too busy hurting. It is a good hurt now -- an I-am-powerful hurt, an I-did-THAT??-WOOO hurt.

Ask me again in the morning. Assuming I can get to my keyboard.

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Feb. 6th, 2011 09:25 pm

I used to write. It was important to me. It was communication, and it mattered to me to make it good.

Now I write tweets, text messages, status updates, and the shortest-possible work emails. I still write, but it says nothing about who I am. There is nothing that says, "This is why you should be interested in what I have to say."

I worry a lot that I don't write anymore because there is no reason for anyone to be interested in what I have to say.

There is a communication blockage in my life. I take in all this information -- I read and watch TV copiously, and I listen -- but it never gets out. In the bittorrent of life, I am a seriously nasty leecher.

I want to start writing things that are real again. Words that say things and that matter. I keep saying, "Oh, I don't have enough time" but the truth is that I have lots of time. I just don't make the time. I don't make the time for most of the things that used to be important to me. Something happened, and I walked away from everything creative and communicative in my life, and I used time as an excuse.

Today, I did not remember to make time to write. But I wrote this little something anyway, because if I don't start somewhere, then I don't start at all.

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Feb. 3rd, 2011 08:05 pm Hark! For it is a post.

First
I live!

Second
There are four new people on my bowling team. My original bowling team quit via text message, and it crushed me. But I found newbies (on Ravelry!) and now I have a full team again! I was really proud that I didn't give up.

Third
I drew this! And coloured it! Even the shading!Collapse )

Fourth
I can do a mile on the elliptical, at level 9, in under 10 minutes. I've worked hard for that!

Fifth
I can knit sonic screwdrivers. I even made my own pattern to do Eleven's! It's pretty awesome.

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Sep. 28th, 2010 08:50 pm

Work keeps kicking my butt, and then there's depression and a job search, but that's another post.

This one is about knitting.

I made a hat. It's awesome. It's a Where's Waldo hat -- red and white and a nice red pompom on top. It's 3 years' worth of birthday presents for a pal from university, and I liked knitting stocking stitch in the round very much; it was wonderfully mindless and almost a gift to myself!

Right now, I'm working on a lime green beret. Kind of. I am trying to combine two patterns: the spiral idea from Reverie Beret with the stitch pattern from the Tilting Tardis Cowl.

I'm tearing it out a lot. I tried to work a spiral rib stitch for the bottom, because I thought a spiral rib would look nicer than regular rib, but it didn't turn out. (Yet: It didn't work out yet. Spiral rib might might be on again for tomorrow's attempt.)

Now I've figured out that I need either 70, 79, or 87 stitches at cast-on. Alas, I need an even number for the ribbing, and 70 is just too small to fit around my circular needles! 87 is too big and an odd number.

I am kind of stuck at trying to make some sort of ribbing pattern that agrees with 79 stitches, because it is the perfect size for my head. Knitting with bigger needles might let me get away with 70 stitches -- but I'm not sure, and I don't already own any bigger circular needles.

I knit a lot now. It helps me not to stab people, even though I've got wonderfully handy things to stab with always so nearby.

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Jul. 11th, 2010 08:28 pm Wheeee-BOOM

I got roller blades today. Now I am 80 Canadian Tire cents richer (and 17 800 Canadian cents poorer.)

I haven't been roller blading in at least 10 years, probably more.

I'm not sure who enjoyed it more: me, or the people watching me try to stay upright! I found my balance after a bit, and ended up going for a long time.

I only did one face plant, two knee-slides, and a butt plant -- when I discovered while going down a ramp that this pair has no brakes -- and a slam into a street sign.

I think my arms are going to fall off. Somehow, my shoulders feel the worst: maybe it was all the pinwheeling trying to stay up.

It was tons of fun, and my health has gotten a lot better. I can go further and harder with things, like roller blading, than I could have imagined possible three months ago.

mood: goodgood

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May. 23rd, 2010 10:00 pm My life: knitting and Doctor Who

In late March, I learned how to knit.

Everyone in my family knows how to knit, except me and my dad. He never wanted to learn, and I just somehow got forgotten about when the rest of the cousins got taught. It might have had something to do with how I refused to learn to tie my shoes -- knitting is really just tying fancy knots with big sticks.*

But now I know how to knit!

I made a stripey garter stitch scarf, which is shorter than I would have liked, but I got bored. I made a giant seed stitch coaster-thing that sits under my coffee press at work.

Then I made celery. See, I'm watching a lot of Doctor Who, and what is better than a knit celery broach? Nothing, I tell you. Nothing is.** The frimbly bits of the lettuce leaf were extremely fun to do, and involved a whole lot of learning new stitches and methods.

Then I started making a stuffed Tardis (are you noticing a theme here?) Alas, it's in stocking stitch, and apparently, I hate stocking stitch. I'm not quite done the first side panel yet. I feel like I will never be done the first side panel, and then there are three more to go. I also think that stranding the colours across the back will making the duplicate stitching difficult, but I am not frogging three weeks of work now, especially as I frogged the Tardis thrice already.

In a fit of madness from the stocking stitch, I have begun a Dalek dishcloth. It's illusion knitting, so the idea is that when you first see it, it will be green and brown stripes, then a Dalek will appear if you look at the right angle. We shall see if this happens.

If you think my entire life seems like knitting and Doctor Who lately, you are right.

However, my commute is about to increase by 50 minutes a day, and I can't knit on the crowded bus. Since I can no longer read on the bus, I might need to pick up crochet to pass the time. Then I suspect my life will be all Ice Pilots NWT and crochet.


* I did not learn to tie my shoelaces until grade 6, so people thought perhaps I was just too dull. It was the first time in my life I wanted a pair of laced shoes more than a pair with velcro. As long as all the shoes I wanted were slip-ons or velcro, I thought it pointless to tie laces.

That said, as I small child, I did an absurd amount of macrame, so it wasn't like I couldn't tie perfectly good knots.


** Not even my season 16 scarf, which kind of eats me up whenever I put it on -- it ended a bit longer than the real S16 scarf, and I am quite a lot smaller than Tom Baker. I did not make that myself; I'd be knitting into my next lifetime, and I'm not sure acrylic from Wal-Mart would follow me into the beyond.

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Apr. 23rd, 2010 11:50 pm

It was long aso sestablished that i am not doo drunkt tif i can still spell subjunctive
so

SUBJUNCTIVE

just don't ask me what is tmeans wright now okay?

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Apr. 13th, 2010 11:18 pm

I haven't been posting in ages, because I'm sort of at a stage where there's nothing new good to say about my life. Work is just really tough, and everything else is the same-old same-old.

The work isn't tough, but the office politics are killing me. Again: same-old same-old.

I'm starting to consider redefining what "friend" means. Maybe if I am unsure if I can trust you not to hurt me, you aren't a friend. Or shouldn't be. Anyway, I'm sure that doesn't really apply to anyone on my f-list.

I just look at the blank screen lately, and my fingers try to type "wah wah wah blah blah, life sucks." But life's not that bad: I'm just in an in-between time, and feeling pulled apart.

I have been mind-writing an entry about food for ages. Maybe someday I'll actually write it!

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Dec. 31st, 2009 08:34 pm Holy decade, you guys!

This decade did not start well. 2000 wasn't bad; my life unravelled in 2001.

I got to university in 2004, and it was a major turning point in my life. I was safe and I had friends.

2008 involved leaving that behind and forging a new life. I kind of sucked at that, and went back to the Before place.

2009 has been crazy! I was miserable at a job and got laid off in January -- the best thing that ever happened to my career, although when I was job searching I certainly didn't feel that. I got a new job that, mostly, is fantastic for me.

I went on two vacations by myself, which I've never done before. My last pure no-work, no-family vacation was in March 2000, to Spain with school. This year, I went to Halifax and to Victoria. It was fantastic.

I saw 6 concerts, although it feels like more. I am in love with live music. And dancing! I am a crap dancer now, but I loved to dance before this decade, and I am thrilled to have it back.

Most importantly, I am alive. Take THAT, motherfuckers of the earlier years.

This past month has been terribly hard, for various reasons -- some new, some unexpected, and some annual.

I don't know where 2010 is going. I'd like it to take my home out of Edmonton -- but I want my job to come with me! How problematic.

But I am alive. And again, take that. You did not kill me off. And I'm doing better and stronger than I have before in my life, regardless of how screwed up I still am. I'm damn near preening here.

mood: accomplishedaccomplished
music: Hercules - Zero to Hero

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Dec. 1st, 2009 07:51 pm

Despite the fact that I hate the Starlite Room on principle -- they are smug and annoying even through their website -- I'm going there on Thursday to see illScarlett.

Other news is ... same-old, same-old. I continue to struggle with my family -- set off by a cousin this time. I continue to have roommate troubles; ranting about his increasingly erratic behaviour got me advice from some mental health workers to never be alone with him unless there was a locked door between us (not exactly soothing).

Work is good, really good, right now. I've been trusted very suddenly with a lot more work at a much higher level, including training people and reviewing my own work at its higher stages, instead of having another person do it.

There's been other emotional stuff, largely related to it being December and me hating December. Other emotional stuff is... well, emotional. And not for public entries.

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