Dinner Squadron

I had one of those moments at work yesterday. Those moments when you realize -- really, really realize -- that you don't enjoy your life.

My manager has made it a team goal to find me a hobby. Why?

Tuesday, yesterday, I had plans to go to a midnight showing of Harry Potter, after which I would need to sleep in. I have flexible hours, but decided to use banked hours from Friday* sleep in, then leave work at my normal time.

My manager pushed me to take all of today off. I have more than enough banked hours to do so. I wouldn't! I'd wake up at 10am, and then I'd have the rest of the day to myself. What would I do? I don't know. I cannot think of a single enjoyable thing to do with an entire day off in the middle of the week. I admitted that I even get annoyed on weekends with the lack of job.

So they have a goal of finding me a hobby so that I can, you know, take time off work and not be miserable.

I did sleep in today. I slept almost 50 minutes later than normal. I woke up to a work dream. I forced myself to sleep for another 30 minutes, during which I dreamed... about work. I did not use even the full amount of banked time I'd intended to use, because my brain obviously wanted to be at work.

All I have in my life is a job that, while good, is not something I love. I have work, and I have a straight 48 hours each week feeling lost.

This is not enjoying my life.


*I adore working late on Fridays! It makes my weekend shorter and less lonely. My coworkers have been known to have to literally chase me out of the office when they decide that I've stayed late enough.

mood: cold

0.5 cup brown basmati rice
1 cup cold water

Put in pot. Bring to boil. Cover and turn heat to low.


1 can (540 mL) soya beans
1 (or more) onion, chopped
1 teaspoon sesame seeds
1.5 teaspoon minced ginger

Put in pan. Fry at medium temperatures.


0.5 cup peanut butter
80 mL warm water
1 tablespoon soya sauce
2 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon lime juice
0.5 teaspoon chili powder (or less, if you're using not-dollar store spices)

Put it into a microwave-safe glass. Nuke for 30 seconds. Mix thoroughly with fork (about 30 seconds stiring). Pour into pan with the beans. Turn the pan down to the lowest heat to keep warm until the rice is done (about 30 minutes from its start).

Clean unreasonably messed-up kitchen.

Enjoy deliciousness. Feel smug that it's rather healthy.

mood: content
music: Chameleon Circuit - An Awful Lot of Running

So, my roommate decided to use my $70 massive, ceramic-lined pot as Tupperware.

He cooked in it, then stored stinky food it in for almost an entire week. He does this frequently with his own $3 pot of the same size. I saw the pot in the fridge, smelled the food, and never even considered the possibility that it was my pot.

Tonight I saw his pot in the cupboard, and realized mine was storing his nasty ass food in the fridge. I flipped and told him to get his food out of it. He did. Then he scrubbed it with a SOS pad. *wails*

I went back and washed it again with hot water and soap. IT STILL SMELLS LIKE HIS FOOD. It smells like rancid tomato sauce. The smell of my best pot makes me ill! I can't cook in it! Unless I can clean it it's ruined.

I am so, so angry. I know he's not going to fucking replace it. Do I have to start locking all my dishes and cutlery and pots in my room now?

Who looks at someone else's stuff and says, "Oh, I think I want to destroy this, even though I LIVE WITH its owner"?

mood: enraged

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Cuz, I've kissed a girl and I liked it, too
In fact, I've kissed a few in my day
So how come I'm not famous for it yet?
- Kate Reid, "Emergency Dyke Project"

I love parades. They are one of the few reasons to venture outside in the summer. I really liked yesterday's Pride Parade (theme: Age of Aqueerious). When the end of the parade went by, we just got swept up in it and walked the rest of the way. It was a lot of fun.

Possibly the best part was that Edmonton Police Service brought a tank with rainbows for their entry. A tank. "Is that a TANK coming? That can't be a tank. It's a tank. Why is there a tank?" The tank was followed by the EPS recruitment drive. That, I liked.

After, it was Celebration on the Square, where I watched a drag queen dance to The Log Driver's Waltz, which was the soundtrack to my very favourite NFB short.

I heard some good music, local and from far. A pretty girl gave me a flower in the parade, and in a moment of unusual bravery, I looked for her after (I think I was going to ask for her number!) but alas, I didn't find her.

I got a bunch of rainbow pens from some MLAs, and I bought a Kate Reid CD. I did not get a sunburn, which is somewhat shocking.

Weird moment: I was sitting on the grass with K and her daughters, my pseudo-nieces. Someone came up to ask where we meet our same-sex partners (for a survey), "I mean, where did you find love?" K and I looked at each other, said we weren't interested in surveys, and burst out laughing.

We met at her marriage to a homophobic man. And even if we look like a couple, I would never date someone with kids.

mood: cheerful
music: Kate Reid - Emergency Dyke Project

I need new music suggestions! Lately, my manager has been influencing me to listen to *gasp* Hannah Montana!

Hit me with a song suggestion, or many songs, or favourite songs of one artist. I don't care what it is: just suggest something. All I ask is for at least one specific song title to be included.

Don't shy away from suggestion popular stuff: I don't listen to the radio. Don't shy away from weird or unlikely things: I enjoy bagpipes playing Hava Nagila.* Don't shy away from embarrassing music: I know all the words to the 3-minute original Power Rangers theme. In two languages.

Gimme music help, people!


* The transition between Scotland the Brave and Hava Nagila in a medley is shockingly smooth.

mood: awake
music: Will Smith - Miami

I'm bored with my life right now. All I do for entertainment is read at Tim Hortons and watch Power Rangers.

I am struck with the desire to go out and dance and be wild. But I don't want to go alone (and I happen to think not wanting to go alone to bars you're unfamiliar with is not exactly unreasonable!) I want there to be people for me to do stuff like that with.

Next weekend, I have plans: Pride Parade and Celebration on the Square. I have never been to Celebration on the Square; it's apparently quite awesome and gets better each year. I've been meaning to go for years and this year, I am going.

It's amazing how excited I am for next week just because I have something to do other than "sit somewhere alone". I am going to go out and stand somewhere alone. But there will be people who are not the other Tim Hortons regulars, and perhaps there shall even be silliness and/or dancing.

I've also got some other things in the works right now. So hopefully, I will be less bored with life.

(Power Rangers is awesome this season, and Star Wars novels are happy-making always. I just need more right now.)

mood: bored
music: Miley Cyrus - HoeDown ThrowDown

I'm going to Halifax in August! Vacation, vacation, vacation! Halifax! Yay!

*is insensible with delight*

mood: ecstatic

I'm taking a day off from reading my f-list to actually post. Shock!

1. Job
New Job continues to be awesome. I mostly tolerate my co-workers, and I like the work, and I do feel as though I'm doing something useful. Lots of Alberta students use these books to learn what they miss in the classrooms, and if they're as popular in Ontario and BC, that's a lot of people helped.

I'm relearning math by doing them, too. (So far, I have only worked on math books.)

Sometime next year, a book will be published in Ontario with multiple graphics on each page, every single one of which will have been made by me. Honestly, I feel like I'm going to be Published For Real with this book. Having Something Of My Own published is a life-goal for me, and it looks like it will happen.


2. Food
I continue to learn how to cook. I've gotten very good at feeding myself well for cheap.

Today, I have a delicious-smelling lentil and black bean soup in the slow-cooker. When I got home from work, I whipped up some cornmeal-garlic dumplings and popped them in. Once the dumplings are done, I feast.

Last week, I figured out the trick of making butter chicken sauce. (Is butter chicken The Fad everywhere else right now? It's everywhere in Edmonton lately, and I love it.) Since I don't cook meat, I boiled some yam chunks and poured the sauce over them. THIS IS FOOD HEAVEN, folks. Trust me. Yam works better as a chicken substitute here than chickpeas.

A few months ago, I got an immersion blender. Ever since, I've been very into "creamy" soups, where the creaminess is provided by blended chickpeas. Much more filling and better for me than actual cream.


3. Housing
I love everything about this neighbourhood, but the basement suite we live in is crap. Sometimes, this is a literal statement, as the house has sewage issues. It also has Very Loud Upstairs Neighbours issues.

The co-op housing I was supposed to move into is... going badly. First, I was in! Then, my income was way below threshold and I risked getting kicked out. Then, I got a small raise and they lowered the threshold income by $4 000/year. Now I'm probably getting kicked out for being too rich.

So, I'm living rather frugally right now. I'm hoping to save enough for a down payment on a... something. Something of my own; that's all that really matters - mine. Something with good concrete floors if it's in a condo building. I have a roommate at least until May 2010, which lets me put a fair bit away each month. Then I'll either have to live alone (ack! expensive!) or move in with him and his new wife. Which brings me to...


. Roommate
My roommate and my oldest friend are getting married! I knew they were since Roommate moved to Canada, but it's official now.

I was supposed to be Rillsie's maid of honour, but a few weeks ago she mentioned how weird it's going to be for me to be standing on his side. Apparently, I've been moved to Best Man. Neither Roommate or I complained about the unconsulted switch; we know what's good for us.

mood: hungry
music: Wise Guys - Schlag mich baby noch einmal

There is so much about how MS Word works that I didn't know! Today was a steep learning curve, full of styles and obsessive tabbing.

On the upside, at the pace I'm working, Ontario will soon have a very nicely formatted Math 9 workbook.

I'm a Layout Editor in Print Production. My manager is just having me do text layout. She's not training me on graphics, because the head of the department overseeing layout wants to poach me before the end of the year. Already. I am not incompetent (yet)!

Apparently, I am the only person EVER to start this job with a working knowledge of MathType/Equation Editor. Apparently, high school math IS useful -- if you did cyber school. Of course, how to use Equation Editor was the only useful part.

Tomorrow, I'm going to a course on the CMS teachers will eventually be using to input curriculum for the study guides.


I'm not missing the old office as much as expected. Possibly because I made Inept Manager cry on my last day. It was lovely to watch, after she put me through two weeks of hell by preventing me from finishing tasks. Bosslady asked me specifically why my work wasn't done and I answered honestly -- I'm waiting on Inept Manager, because she decided her part wasn't important enough to do yesterday. Bosslady flipped, and Inept Manager tried to make it my fault. Then she told me I was "a very bad person" and started crying.

My work there was done.

(Except that I'm going back as a part time gig to file tomorrow night. Trash, I'm incorrigible.)

mood: calm
music: Super Junior - SORRY, SORRY

From a meme, here are five things anglaisepaon associates with me, with some elaboration on them.

1. Poutine & Pocky
Who isn't fond of poutine? (And if you're not, don't break my brain by telling me!) It's the perfect combination of the most important food groups: carbs, grease, goo, and squeak. For those not in the know (you exist? gasp!), poutine is a quintessential Canadian food of french fries and cheese curds smothered in gravy - best when baked together. Damn near every fast-food place serves up poutine here. (McDonalds tried for a while, but their gravy was terrible.) My favourite national-chain poutine comes from KFC or New York Fries.

Pocky is small cracker-cookie sticks covered in slightly-soft coatings. My favourite flavour is custard, but it's been so long since I've found any; I'm not sure they still make it. Milk & Honey was close, but not quite. Green tea was surprisingly gross.


2. Puppies
I adore puppies. So cute! I'm seemingly missing whatever makes human women think babies are cute (gross, big heads!) but I think my brain just transferred that instinct to dogs.

I have three puppies right now, but none of them live with me. Licorice is nearly 17, Gaib is nearly 2, and Tycho is 1. They are all sweethearts, but my heart belongs first to Licorice and Gaib.

My heart really belongs to any puppy willing to let me squee at him, though. Puppies!


3. My mother
hooo boy, is this a biggy. My mother and I have history. I think that she probably loved me quite a lot when I was little - or, at least, she cared about me quite a lot. She did fun things with me, anyway, when I was little. Now, our relationship is tense, and even when we're outwardly getting along, being around her is stressful and frightening. I never know when the good will come crashing down -- when I'll have to start being scared of her again.

When I was 9, Bad Things happened. I liked to think of myself as a Good Child, and Good Children tell their parents. It went horribly. It is my first memory where I was truly scared. In my mind, this is the moment Everything Changed in my life. I'm not sure, though; maybe things weren't so ideal before. I'm not sure whether I want the Everything Changed moment to be true or if I want to think I idealized a time before that that never really was.


4. History
I'm not sure why this came up. I was a history minor at university, but I've never really identified as a history buff. (There is simply not enough of puppies or poutine in major historical events!)

I do know more about Canadian history than the average Canadian, but my brain still freezes up on simple things, like the year Canada went from colony to dominion(18...67?). And the only Pierre Berton I've read is his book on writing, although I do feel sad each time I remember that he's died.

But if pressed, I could remember to talk about hockey games against Russia, and probably convince you that such things are truly of great historic importance.


5. An almost incredible amount of patience and compassion
I don't feel qualified to comment much on these! I see myself as impatient and judgmental. I can't think of anything I've been patient though. Sorry! This can't be the most interesting answer.

mood: cold

I got an email late Thursday from the study guide people who offered me a job.

Well, I certainly think this can work for both of us. I will try to call -
when is a good time?

mood: crushed

I am pretty much completely unable to focus on work today, so you all get a real entry. Woot woot?

Tuesday the 10th, 10am: I scheduled an interview with the university for an admin position. It pays awesome, has benefits, and is at a university. The interview was scheduled for the next day.

Tuesday the 10th, noon-ish: I begin to suffer from food poisoning.

Tuesday the 10th, 12:43: I get a job offer from the last week's interview. It doesn't pay well, but I'm excited anyway. I communicate this poorly, as the only thing I'm truly interested in is dying, thanks to the food poisoning. Feeling slightly delirious, I tell them I have an interview for a better-paying position the next day, and can I get back to them later?


I started emailing with the director who offered me the job on the 12th. I didn't want them to think I wasn't interested, because I am. Over the weekend, I decided I didn't really care if the university wanted to hire me or not. I decided to take the first job.

Monday, the contact person wasn't in the office -- not surprising, really: it was Family Day and many people were off.

Tuesday the 17th, I called in the morning, and he was not in.

Tuesday afternoon, I called and he still was not in. So I emailed him, and... I haven't heard yet. No call, no email response. It's over a week since they offered it to me.

I have this sinking feeling that I blew a really good opportunity, and since I haven't applied for anything new in over a week, I feel tremendously fucked.

So this is what's up with me right now. Back to work!


oooh, "Monkeys" by Mad Caddies just came on. Now I can annoy my co-workers with horns instead of bagpipes.

mood: pensive

I walked out feeling really good about it. They had nice things to say about me, and I think I would love working there. It'll mean learning a lot of new things all the time, mostly because I have no experience and no training in any of it.

But I'm increasingly nervous that maybe it wasn't so good. I didn't have great answers to a lot of their questions and I was very nervous. I think I'll do great if I get it, even though I'll have to be trained on a lot, but I don't know how much I communicated that confidence and my abilities.

Also, all the meeting rooms in the entire suite were full, so we had to go to the ground level for coffee. (Yay, Rwandan Cup of Hope blend!) That meant taking an escalator a floor down. I'm terrified of escalators. Really, no matter how badly I messed up, the interview couldn't have gone downhill after that!

But they had positive things to say about me, at least, to my face. I don't know what that means.

They said I'd know by Wednesday "but very probably sooner". Not hearing is driving me nuts! I'd almost rather a "no" to waiting a second longer.

I think I'll buy a paid account with icons if I get the job. (And if it pays well - they didn't say and I didn't ask; I'd take any reasonable offer to be doing this job, really.)

mood: confused
music: Stan Bush - Dare

I applied for two more jobs on Friday, both of which my supervisor found for me. This weekend was break time.

Saturday was a complete loss. I read a little, went for puppy visitation, and soothed my mother with dinner out. Here's where the day got Epic, around 7:55pm.

I asked her to drive me to the Wal-Mart up the street from the restuarant so I could grab some groceries. She agreed. Then she missed the turn off. I jokingly asked her if she were headed to the new one on the other side of the city. She hadn't known there was a new one and got very excited. She "accidentally" missed the next turn to the west-end Wal-Mart and we were off to the south side.

Unfortunately, the south side of Edmonton is too trendy for things like street numbers. They have these wacky word-names. On the north side, something's address inherently contains directions to it. South side, all bets are off. And my mother does not know the south side at all.

We found the Wal-Mart at about 10pm, two hours after we started our journey. I haven't seen her so happy in weeks.

Then she got lost trying to drive me home. It was after midnight:30 by the time I got to bed.

Sunday is another story entirely, but I'm starting to yawn. Maybe I'll actually remember to write about it!